I’m a strange one. I’ve been told that a few times in the past week or so. You see I’m days away from being due to give birth. Technically five days to be precise, but we all know babies don’t like to come on their due dates! But that’s not what makes me strange. What makes me strange is that I’m still quite happy being pregnant and bumping along.
I love my bump. I’m very, very lucky that in this pregnancy, and my last one, I’ve ended up with a pretty neat bump that isn’t actually giving me too much trouble. If you ignore all the hospital admissions, scares and general worries, I’m still pretty much loving being pregnant. I actually feel more confident rocking a bump, than not rocking one. I enjoy dressing a bump and find it fun putting together pregnancy outfits to show off this baba to be.
I’m not ready to go back to just being a mum! I like being a mum and a mum-to-be. There’s something so special about being pregnant and I know everyone has different experiences and many people hate being pregnant, but I really enjoy it. I’m not ready to give it up.
Don’t get me wrong I do have my moments when I’m struggling to pick things up off the floor, getting kicked in the tummy by the toddler, not able to sleep where I think ‘meh I can’t be bothered anymore’, but I’d say 99% of the time I’m all good.
I’ve lost count of the amount of times things like ‘oh you must be so fed up of being pregnant by now’, ‘you must be desperate to meet the little one’ and ‘you must be counting down the days now’ have been said to me over the past week. I genuinely don’t feel I can relate to any of them.
It probably has a lot to do with the fact I’m having a lot of birth anxiety this time around as well. I am petrified of going into labour again. I had a good, natural birth last time but I seem to have developed a serious irrational fear this time around, that I just cant sake. Eeks.
The only reason I’d be ready to have baby now is so they don’t get too big!!! Little I was 8lbs 11oz at 39 weeks so I‘m starting to get a little scared now I’ve gone over 39 weeks. My mum went early with me and then late with my middle brother, who was a rather substantial weight, so it is a big worry!
Who knows when it will happen, whether it’s over the next few days or weeks, but I know I’ll have to give up being pregnant pretty soon. I just wanted to write down my thoughts in this moment so I don’t forget. I’m at that stage where I want to document EVERYTHING as much as I can.
Were you sick of being pregnant towards the end?