This is a post I didn’t think I would be writing this time around. When I had Little I, I had just moved to a new area and knew no one. Instead of isolating myself, I got out there and went to as many baby groups as possible and ended up meeting two groups of really great mama friends. I also made a wonderful group of Navy friends through a family connection and over the past couple years have managed to amass a little crew of YouTube girls who I adore and am lucky enough to call very, very good friends. I also still have London just up the road (where I lived before) and the beauties, I call friends, who live there.
So why am I feeling lonely this week?
I have no idea.
I’m always busy. The blog and YouTube channel definitely make sure of that. I’m actually lucky I have this outlet otherwise I think the problem would be a lot worse. I try to get out of the house every day (especially when both kids are at home) and I really try to have plans set up for each week in advance so I know that everything will be ok.
The problem is my husband works away, a lot. Military life. And I have no family near by. The people you can count on when all your friends are busy are too far away for me to enjoy time with. I miss my family an incredible amount and would love to live just down the road from them. I also miss the husband when he’s away but that’s a side note, and mainly just for someone to share the bath and bedtime routine with – JOKES.
I am good at doing things on my own. I’ll take the kids to the beach, park, soft play, wherever, alone. I don’t mind that at all. But then I find myself reverting back to the 2014 baby group ways and I start madly grinning at anyone I like the look of. Mainly women, not men. Just to clarify. And in a mum friend way, not a creeper way haha. It hurts when they don’t look back or don’t take you on. Sometimes I just fancy a five minute chat. Anything to break up speaking to the kids all day (which is basically just a loop of ‘be gentle, please don’t do that, are you listening, do you want a snack?), as much as I love them.
Another problem is the mum guilt. I did so much with Little I. So many groups, play dates, activities, that I feel like L is missing out, entertainment wise, and I’m missing out on social wise. I do have two groups that I go along to with him (one is with Little I as well) but I don’t always manage, with the blog and YouTube schedule, and other commitments.
When I was on maternity leave the first time around, everyone I made friends with was too. We were all in the same boat and free at roughly the same times, or on the same days. Once the second babies start appearing, life starts getting A LOT busier. It becomes so hard, understandably, to match schedules up and cancellations are a lot higher because of the fact there are often two little beans in the mix now.
But hey, what can you do! I’m just going to focus on trying to make more plans with my crews, to push the loneliness away. Getting on the old phone/FaceTime will probably help matters too.
Next time you’re out, have a look around. See if you can spot anyone (not just other mums) who look like they could do with a chat and give them a smile/say hello. You never know, you might be the only person they get to speak to all day. And it’s so hard.