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A UK Pregnancy, Parenting and Lifestyle Blog
January 1, 2019

5 Goals for 2019

5 goals for 2019

2019! How is it 2019? And more importantly how is it 2020 next year and we’re not all flying around in little space cars, like in the Jetsons? Man I loved that program growing up – I need to find it on YouTube or something to show the kids!

Anyhow, I digress…

I wanted to share a few of my goals for the year ahead. I am notoriously bad at sticking to goals. I’m pretty good at the eating better and exercise ones (when I want to be or when I set myself a specific target) but when it comes to behavioural changes or doing more for ‘me’, I am utterly useless. Here’s hoping I do better this year!

1. To try and stop caring less about what others think of me – ah, this is a tough one. I mean more in real life, rather than in the online world. I’m sure a few of you will have come across a delightful gossip (hate) forum website which is pretty much dedicated to tearing apart people who put their lives out there online. It’s a horrible, horrible situation to find yourself in but one that I’ve dealt with by simply not reading it anymore. I went on it once (when someone sent the link to me) and read 100s of comments about how awful a person I am, and once for another reason, and have never been back on it since. Nothing good can come from reading a whole bunch of spiteful comments from people who don’t even slightly know the truth about your life. I would like to focus on caring less about what others think about me in my offline life. To stop worrying about judgement. To stop overthinking things I say to people. To stop second guessing myself. Those sorts of things!

2. To start ballet classes again – this has been something on the to do list for a very long time. I did a lot of ballet and dancing when I was younger and I am so keen to start a little class up again. For fitness and for my mind. I’m hoping while R is back for a couple months, and therefore around in the evenings a little more, I can get along to one weekly.

3. To be a better school mum – oh my goodness, I had no idea the admin that would be involved once you walk through those school gates. WOW! The events, forms and things to remember are constant and because I don’t pick up and drop off every day (thanks to work), I feel I miss out massively on feeling part of the school community. I’m not sure how to rectify it but I’m going to have a good think about it! And make sure I hand things in on time…..

4. To spend less (mainly on clothes) – I need to have a massive clear out and create a bit more of a capsule wardrobe. I often don’t manage to see half of what’s kicking about in my wardrobe because of there being too much in there. Half of the problem is lack of storage. I need to be able to separate out my summer and winter clothes better so they can be rotated. The other half of my problem is that I often hold on to items that I haven’t worn in a long time ‘just in case’. They need to go so I can focus on what I actually need to buy, rather than what I think I need to buy.

5. To have more ‘me time’/go to bed earlier/be on my phone less – this is the one I always fall down with! I am TERRIBLE at shutting off from work and life admin and just ‘being’. I like to be busy and distracted, which often means I neglect the things I could be doing to have a bit more of a balance in life. I need more bubble baths, face masks, book reading, Netflix series and early nights in my life. We shall see if any of this materialises as the year goes on!

What’s on your list of goals, if you have one?

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Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫 Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫
‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in c ‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in creating a better world for our children.’ - Nelson Mandela ❤️
It’s not enough though, is it? We’ve always h It’s not enough though, is it?

We’ve always had diverse toys in our house (not enough, but I’m working on it ❤️), but when questioned ‘why do you buy your kids Black dolls?’, I’ve faltered and answered incorrectly. I would respond saying ‘because that’s the doll Isla liked the best. What does it matter? We’re all human’, rather than questioning why that person is questioning it in the first place.

In a massive learning curve this week, where I am actively trying to become an anti-racist ally, not just anti-racist/non racist in general, I have found so many shortcomings in my effort to educate my kids and in my own attitudes towards race. But this isn’t about me. So here are some resources I’d like to share on top of the ones shared in my stories.

Some books to read:
Me and White Supremacy - Layla F. Saad.
Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge.
How to argue with a racist - Adam Rutherford.
Brit(ish) - Afua Hirsch.
White Fragility - Robin Diangelo.
I Am Not Your Baby Mother - Candice Brathwaite.
So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo.

Diverse kids books:
Anti Racist Baby - X. Kendi.
Riley Can Be Anything -Davina Hamilton.
Look Up - Nathan Bryon.
Mae Among The Stars - Roda Ahmed.
The Mega Magic Hair Swap - Rochelle Humes.
Let’s Talk About Race - Julius Lester.
Welcome To Our World - Moira Butterfield and Harriet Lynas.
This Book Is Antiracist - Tiffany Jewell.
The Extraordinary Gardener - Sam Boughton.
Let The Children March - Monica Clark-Robinson.
Ruby’s Worry - Tom Percival.
A Kids Book About Racism - Jelani Memory.

Some things to watch:
When They See Us.
13th.
Who Killed Malcom X.
Time: The Kalief Browder Story.
Explained: The Racial Wealth Gap.
Dear White People.
I am Not Your Negro.

My to do list:
- Sign more petitions.
- Donate to more causes.
- Listen to podcasts and share.
- Encourage changes in the school curriculum so that my children, and their classmates, get a better, much more rounded and diverse education.
- Call things out.
- Have honest/open conversations.
- Share content.
- To keep educating myself, whilst never expecting others to do it for me.

It’s just a starting point.

Thanks for listening x
Black Lives Matter. I can never pretend to unders Black Lives Matter.

I can never pretend to understand, but I will always stand.

I’ve been on a huge learning curve this week and have, shamefully, come to the realisation, which I should have a long time ago, that it’s not enough to just not be racist. We must also be actively anti-racist and do everything in our power to ensure our children are too.

Today is a day to stop, listen, support, educate ourselves, donate, sign petitions, take action in any way we can, big and small, to make sure that everyone knows we stand with our fellow humans, family and friends. But we can’t just do this today. We must do it each and every day going forward ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻
And breathe! First day without both my babies for And breathe! First day without both my babies for the first time in 10 weeks today and it couldn’t have gone better. Both had wonderful days and were full of stories when they got home. I said over on stories last night, which got an incredible response so thank you to everyone who reached out, that I am completely comfortable with my choice to send the kids back to school and nursery but would never, ever judge anyone who felt different. We are all in different boats in this storm we’ve found ourselves in and what works for my family, might not work for yours. I have deliberately stayed out of the ‘are you sending your kids back or not?’ debate as it started to feel like another toxic discussion, in the media and on social media, that was resulting in yet another parenting divide.
I could have had the kids in this whole time, under key worker provision, but tried my best to hang on till the phased reopenings that I hoped would happen when they did. They were what I was aiming towards. Don’t get me wrong, I have LOVED having the kids at home together for such a sustained period, we have made lots of memories and learnt so much more about each other, but mixed in with the nature of my job and the fact that @thisdadalife is deployed and so I’m on my own with minimal support, I couldn’t have gone on much longer.
When I got in from dropping them off today, and as I went upstairs to work at my desk, I literally collapsed on the stairs and almost cried in relief. Relief that we made it through, as dramatic as that sounds. I don’t think I realised the toll it was taking mentally as I was constantly running on adrenaline.
I am so happy to get a bit more balance back and to, most importantly, feel like a better mum again. Not a snappy trying to juggle it all 24/7 with no break mum.
If you sent your kids back today, whether you wanted to or not, I’m with you and support you.
If you have kept them home in your bubble for longer, I’m with you and support you.
If you’re still unsure what to do and are undecided, I am with you and support you.
Nobody knows the full extent of someone else’s circumstances and we have to stop and realise that before we judge anyone else ❤️
Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅 Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅
This is the first year in YEARS that I have felt ok wearing a bikini. And I feel like it’s more down to how strong I feel, rather than how I look. Whatever it is, I hope it continues ❤️
On another note, how tanned does the @filterbymollymae fake tan make you look! 🙌🏻
(Both bikini and cover up are from last year).
#losingmyboobstho #youwinsomeyoulosesomehaha
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