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A UK Pregnancy, Parenting and Lifestyle Blog
October 6, 2014

Mummy Monday: Dad Q&A on Labour and Birth!

After last week’s Q&A session with the husband on pregnancy – read it here if you missed it – here is this week’s Q&A all about labour and the delightful experience that is birth!


(Halfway through the main event haha)


Q: Before I went into labour, did you feel you were prepared? Had you read up enough etc?

A: I didn’t feel prepared at all! It didn’t help matters that I hadn’t been able to come to any of the antenatal classes due to working away. The book I’d read only started with the newborn stage not the how-babies-arrive stage, I should get a refund! I obviously knew what the process entailed but wish I’d paid a bit more attention to what you told me after the classes. One born every minute doesn’t quite tell you the full story!

Q: When my waters broke, what was your first thought?…


A: I silently pooped (Sarah: he used a different word haha) myself and realised all of a sudden how real it was. I went into worry mode but didn’t want to make you any more anxious so tried to put on a fake confident face. Not sure how well that worked. The fact you thought you’d just wee-ed yourself shed a little humour on the situation haha

Q: When I was rushing around showering and trying to make myself look acceptable at 1am before we went into hospital, what were you thinking?

A: I was getting quietly wound up because I just wanted to get to hospital to get things checked out but you were very insistent on washing off your fake tan etc. I knew better than to argue though! I was just thankful you’d been to get your nails done so you weren’t sitting trying to do them before we went too

Q: When we got into hospital the first time, do you remember what we got the giggles about?

A: The fact that ‘Sexual Healing’ was playing on the radio. Of all the songs…

Sarah: We were laughing so much I think the midwife thought there we were drunk or something!

Q: Once we got home and the contractions kicked off, what did you think (when you finally woke up!)?

A: I think you were up from 3.30ish and I got up at 5ish. I think this was when I started to really panic because I thought we would have all day to go for a nice walk and get things started. The midwife had made it sound like you were going to have to get induced the following night so when the contractions started just an hour after we got home from hospital, it was a bit of a shock. The fact you went really quiet freaked me out as well because that doesn’t happen very often. You must have been in a lot of pain

Sarah: Hmm funnily enough, yes!

Q: Did the 8 hours or so we were at home before going back into hospital feel really long for you?

A: It flew by actually, thinking back on it now. I was busy counting every contraction on my phone and trying to find things to help you. None of which helped! I just followed you like a sheep from room to room because you couldn’t sit or lie down

Q: On the journey into hospital (when I was convinced I was going to die!!) did you start to panic when we hit bad traffic?

A: Yes, I definitely did. I tried to keep it contained but it felt like we were never going to get there. The songs on the radio kept replaying and I genuinely thought I would have to pull over and deliver Isla. You were in so much pain and it felt like the longest journey of my life! I don’t want to hear that One Direction song that was big at the time ever again

Q: Did you love the fact I was sick all over you through a particularly bad contraction haha?

A: It was great! No, actually it didn’t bother me at all. I should have known it was coming after the other times you were sick. Come to think of it, I probably did well to make to then without being sicked on 

Q: Did you like the hospital we were in?

A: I really liked it. It was very clean and even though the corridor to the labour ward was very long, the fact it had 4 toilets along the way made me laugh. It was a pity we didn’t get the delivery room you wanted with the birthing pool but they were very accommodating otherwise. On a manly note…the car park was very good and pretty cheap for NHS standards!

Q: Who was your fave midwife we had?

A: Steve! The male, student midwife. At first, I wasn’t very sure about a male midwife being involved but he made a cracking cup of tea and seemed to be the one that helped you the most

Sarah: He had the softest voice in the world. When we have another baby, I want to track him down

Q: When Isla finally started to play the game and was well on her way, what was your reaction?!

A: Every emotion and reaction under the sun!! I was excited, scared, worried about you, desperate to meet her, all rolled into one. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. Unbelievable

Q: How did you feel when you first held her?

A: I cried, of course! It was like a realisation of ‘This is it. For forever. My little girl that I’ll look after every day, forever’. Huge, ridiculous rush of emotions

Q: I wish we had taken more photos/filmed the experience now. What do you think to doing that next time?!

A: I agree. I think it would be great to be able to look back at the whole experience. I mean I got to see the whole thing but you barely got to see anything so it would be good for you to be able to see what you want without me trying to explain it (very badly) for you. Don’t know how you’d react to seeing the actual birth tho…bleh

Q: What was the best (very bad choice of word in my opinion when it comes to birth) part of the whole experience for you?

A: When she came out. Once her shoulders were out. It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced or seen before and it’s the hardest thing to explain and put into words if someone hasn’t experienced it themselves. Nothing compares to it

Q: How do you feel about having another one in the future?

A: Can’t wait! Bring it on. Well maybe with a bit more pain relief for you next time…

So that’s the labour and birth experience from a dad’s point of view! Due to the popularity of the first Q&A session I did with the husband, I’m going to do one more next week on the first few months of parenthood as well.

Hope you enjoy!

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Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫 Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫
‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in c ‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in creating a better world for our children.’ - Nelson Mandela ❤️
It’s not enough though, is it? We’ve always h It’s not enough though, is it?

We’ve always had diverse toys in our house (not enough, but I’m working on it ❤️), but when questioned ‘why do you buy your kids Black dolls?’, I’ve faltered and answered incorrectly. I would respond saying ‘because that’s the doll Isla liked the best. What does it matter? We’re all human’, rather than questioning why that person is questioning it in the first place.

In a massive learning curve this week, where I am actively trying to become an anti-racist ally, not just anti-racist/non racist in general, I have found so many shortcomings in my effort to educate my kids and in my own attitudes towards race. But this isn’t about me. So here are some resources I’d like to share on top of the ones shared in my stories.

Some books to read:
Me and White Supremacy - Layla F. Saad.
Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge.
How to argue with a racist - Adam Rutherford.
Brit(ish) - Afua Hirsch.
White Fragility - Robin Diangelo.
I Am Not Your Baby Mother - Candice Brathwaite.
So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo.

Diverse kids books:
Anti Racist Baby - X. Kendi.
Riley Can Be Anything -Davina Hamilton.
Look Up - Nathan Bryon.
Mae Among The Stars - Roda Ahmed.
The Mega Magic Hair Swap - Rochelle Humes.
Let’s Talk About Race - Julius Lester.
Welcome To Our World - Moira Butterfield and Harriet Lynas.
This Book Is Antiracist - Tiffany Jewell.
The Extraordinary Gardener - Sam Boughton.
Let The Children March - Monica Clark-Robinson.
Ruby’s Worry - Tom Percival.
A Kids Book About Racism - Jelani Memory.

Some things to watch:
When They See Us.
13th.
Who Killed Malcom X.
Time: The Kalief Browder Story.
Explained: The Racial Wealth Gap.
Dear White People.
I am Not Your Negro.

My to do list:
- Sign more petitions.
- Donate to more causes.
- Listen to podcasts and share.
- Encourage changes in the school curriculum so that my children, and their classmates, get a better, much more rounded and diverse education.
- Call things out.
- Have honest/open conversations.
- Share content.
- To keep educating myself, whilst never expecting others to do it for me.

It’s just a starting point.

Thanks for listening x
Black Lives Matter. I can never pretend to unders Black Lives Matter.

I can never pretend to understand, but I will always stand.

I’ve been on a huge learning curve this week and have, shamefully, come to the realisation, which I should have a long time ago, that it’s not enough to just not be racist. We must also be actively anti-racist and do everything in our power to ensure our children are too.

Today is a day to stop, listen, support, educate ourselves, donate, sign petitions, take action in any way we can, big and small, to make sure that everyone knows we stand with our fellow humans, family and friends. But we can’t just do this today. We must do it each and every day going forward ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻
And breathe! First day without both my babies for And breathe! First day without both my babies for the first time in 10 weeks today and it couldn’t have gone better. Both had wonderful days and were full of stories when they got home. I said over on stories last night, which got an incredible response so thank you to everyone who reached out, that I am completely comfortable with my choice to send the kids back to school and nursery but would never, ever judge anyone who felt different. We are all in different boats in this storm we’ve found ourselves in and what works for my family, might not work for yours. I have deliberately stayed out of the ‘are you sending your kids back or not?’ debate as it started to feel like another toxic discussion, in the media and on social media, that was resulting in yet another parenting divide.
I could have had the kids in this whole time, under key worker provision, but tried my best to hang on till the phased reopenings that I hoped would happen when they did. They were what I was aiming towards. Don’t get me wrong, I have LOVED having the kids at home together for such a sustained period, we have made lots of memories and learnt so much more about each other, but mixed in with the nature of my job and the fact that @thisdadalife is deployed and so I’m on my own with minimal support, I couldn’t have gone on much longer.
When I got in from dropping them off today, and as I went upstairs to work at my desk, I literally collapsed on the stairs and almost cried in relief. Relief that we made it through, as dramatic as that sounds. I don’t think I realised the toll it was taking mentally as I was constantly running on adrenaline.
I am so happy to get a bit more balance back and to, most importantly, feel like a better mum again. Not a snappy trying to juggle it all 24/7 with no break mum.
If you sent your kids back today, whether you wanted to or not, I’m with you and support you.
If you have kept them home in your bubble for longer, I’m with you and support you.
If you’re still unsure what to do and are undecided, I am with you and support you.
Nobody knows the full extent of someone else’s circumstances and we have to stop and realise that before we judge anyone else ❤️
Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅 Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅
This is the first year in YEARS that I have felt ok wearing a bikini. And I feel like it’s more down to how strong I feel, rather than how I look. Whatever it is, I hope it continues ❤️
On another note, how tanned does the @filterbymollymae fake tan make you look! 🙌🏻
(Both bikini and cover up are from last year).
#losingmyboobstho #youwinsomeyoulosesomehaha
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