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A UK Pregnancy, Parenting and Lifestyle Blog
October 11, 2015

Neglected Husband

neglected husband

I have a confession to make. I, Sarah Willox Knott, neglect my husband. I’ve thought about it for a while and after another comment saying ‘Sarah does this, this and this, I don’t know how she does it all’ I’ve finally admitted to myself that I can be a terrible wife!

I’m a mama to a one year old, I work full time, I blog, I vlog, I keep up with friends, I sort out our finances/paperwork, I organise all our social calenders, I go to the gym and I also try to keep a tidy, clean house. Where on earth am I supposed to fit the husband in?!

Before we had kids Rob and I always said that no matter what, we’d always put each other first and it appears that’s slipped away on my side a little.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in all the different bits and bobs that you need to do in a day, regardless of what you’re up to i.e. whether you’re a stay at home mum, a working parent or a parent who is back at uni etc. Kids are exhausting and there always seems to be a never ending to do list.

I thought that I’d work on the blog/vlog really hard for a while and then it would tail off and I’d be able to manage it from a distance a little bit more. This hasn’t been the case and it’s just grown and grown. Which I am most certainly not complaining about, because I absolutely love it, but my husband does sometimes!

This is a typical day for me. I go to the office and work all day, I pick Isla up, I spend time with her (and Rob) and get her ready for bed, I make dinner, I tidy up and then I go straight to blogging. I write posts and schedule them. I review products. I manage the social media. I edit videos. I reply to emails. I read other blogs and comment etc. There is never not something to do where the blog is concerned.

I need to sort something during the week. I need to spend more time with him. We do sit and watch box sets together but I’ll be on my laptop or phone at the same time. I think we need a tech free night (which brings me out in a cold sweat!). He’ll be off back at sea next year so I need to make the most of the time we have now.

The weekends are spent together as a family but always seem to be so busy and rushed. We need to get a babysitter more often and go out for dinner just as a couple. Lots of things to try and plan!

So I’ll end with a massive thank you to my husband for being so supportive. For letting me do my thaang. For being an awesome ‘DADA’ to Little I. For joining in with the vlogging. For helping out where you can. And for rarely ever complaining. You are a true gem and we are lucky to have you.

We’ll miss you when you go away for 6 months!

Does anyone else feel their partner comes bottom of their priority list sometimes?

Mummascribbles
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9 comments so far.

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Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫 Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫
‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in c ‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in creating a better world for our children.’ - Nelson Mandela ❤️
It’s not enough though, is it? We’ve always h It’s not enough though, is it?

We’ve always had diverse toys in our house (not enough, but I’m working on it ❤️), but when questioned ‘why do you buy your kids Black dolls?’, I’ve faltered and answered incorrectly. I would respond saying ‘because that’s the doll Isla liked the best. What does it matter? We’re all human’, rather than questioning why that person is questioning it in the first place.

In a massive learning curve this week, where I am actively trying to become an anti-racist ally, not just anti-racist/non racist in general, I have found so many shortcomings in my effort to educate my kids and in my own attitudes towards race. But this isn’t about me. So here are some resources I’d like to share on top of the ones shared in my stories.

Some books to read:
Me and White Supremacy - Layla F. Saad.
Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge.
How to argue with a racist - Adam Rutherford.
Brit(ish) - Afua Hirsch.
White Fragility - Robin Diangelo.
I Am Not Your Baby Mother - Candice Brathwaite.
So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo.

Diverse kids books:
Anti Racist Baby - X. Kendi.
Riley Can Be Anything -Davina Hamilton.
Look Up - Nathan Bryon.
Mae Among The Stars - Roda Ahmed.
The Mega Magic Hair Swap - Rochelle Humes.
Let’s Talk About Race - Julius Lester.
Welcome To Our World - Moira Butterfield and Harriet Lynas.
This Book Is Antiracist - Tiffany Jewell.
The Extraordinary Gardener - Sam Boughton.
Let The Children March - Monica Clark-Robinson.
Ruby’s Worry - Tom Percival.
A Kids Book About Racism - Jelani Memory.

Some things to watch:
When They See Us.
13th.
Who Killed Malcom X.
Time: The Kalief Browder Story.
Explained: The Racial Wealth Gap.
Dear White People.
I am Not Your Negro.

My to do list:
- Sign more petitions.
- Donate to more causes.
- Listen to podcasts and share.
- Encourage changes in the school curriculum so that my children, and their classmates, get a better, much more rounded and diverse education.
- Call things out.
- Have honest/open conversations.
- Share content.
- To keep educating myself, whilst never expecting others to do it for me.

It’s just a starting point.

Thanks for listening x
Black Lives Matter. I can never pretend to unders Black Lives Matter.

I can never pretend to understand, but I will always stand.

I’ve been on a huge learning curve this week and have, shamefully, come to the realisation, which I should have a long time ago, that it’s not enough to just not be racist. We must also be actively anti-racist and do everything in our power to ensure our children are too.

Today is a day to stop, listen, support, educate ourselves, donate, sign petitions, take action in any way we can, big and small, to make sure that everyone knows we stand with our fellow humans, family and friends. But we can’t just do this today. We must do it each and every day going forward ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻
And breathe! First day without both my babies for And breathe! First day without both my babies for the first time in 10 weeks today and it couldn’t have gone better. Both had wonderful days and were full of stories when they got home. I said over on stories last night, which got an incredible response so thank you to everyone who reached out, that I am completely comfortable with my choice to send the kids back to school and nursery but would never, ever judge anyone who felt different. We are all in different boats in this storm we’ve found ourselves in and what works for my family, might not work for yours. I have deliberately stayed out of the ‘are you sending your kids back or not?’ debate as it started to feel like another toxic discussion, in the media and on social media, that was resulting in yet another parenting divide.
I could have had the kids in this whole time, under key worker provision, but tried my best to hang on till the phased reopenings that I hoped would happen when they did. They were what I was aiming towards. Don’t get me wrong, I have LOVED having the kids at home together for such a sustained period, we have made lots of memories and learnt so much more about each other, but mixed in with the nature of my job and the fact that @thisdadalife is deployed and so I’m on my own with minimal support, I couldn’t have gone on much longer.
When I got in from dropping them off today, and as I went upstairs to work at my desk, I literally collapsed on the stairs and almost cried in relief. Relief that we made it through, as dramatic as that sounds. I don’t think I realised the toll it was taking mentally as I was constantly running on adrenaline.
I am so happy to get a bit more balance back and to, most importantly, feel like a better mum again. Not a snappy trying to juggle it all 24/7 with no break mum.
If you sent your kids back today, whether you wanted to or not, I’m with you and support you.
If you have kept them home in your bubble for longer, I’m with you and support you.
If you’re still unsure what to do and are undecided, I am with you and support you.
Nobody knows the full extent of someone else’s circumstances and we have to stop and realise that before we judge anyone else ❤️
Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅 Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅
This is the first year in YEARS that I have felt ok wearing a bikini. And I feel like it’s more down to how strong I feel, rather than how I look. Whatever it is, I hope it continues ❤️
On another note, how tanned does the @filterbymollymae fake tan make you look! 🙌🏻
(Both bikini and cover up are from last year).
#losingmyboobstho #youwinsomeyoulosesomehaha
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