• Home
  • Categories
    • Pregnancy
    • Parenting
      • Baby
    • Fashion
    • Reviews
    • Lifestyle
    • Beauty
    • Deployment Diaries
    • Blog Tips
    • Travel
  • WHAT MY KID WORE
    • What My Kid Wore
  • CONTACT
A UK Pregnancy, Parenting and Lifestyle Blog
March 9, 2015

Why I Couldn’t Be A SAHM

When I was pregnant with Isla, long before I even went on maternity leave, I always knew I would be going back to work. Whether it would be part time or full time, I was determined to carry on with my career.
There are a few reasons why I felt like this.
I’ve always enjoyed working – I got my first job at 14, even though I got more than adequate pocket money from my parents, and have worked ever since. I’ve been a chambermaid, a waitress, a babysitter, a bar supervisor, a shop assistant and all that that was before I started my chosen career after university!  I have made some of my best friends in life through places I’ve worked and love the atmosphere of working as a team.
I like my independence – My parents taught us the value of money and how important it was to work hard to get the nice things you want in life. There’s such a sense of achievement when you manage to save up for something you’ve been working towards for ages. I know that Rob’s and my money combined is ‘our’ money, as we are a family, but it’s nice to be able to contribute and to have a little stash of my own money to do as I please with, with no raised eyebrows from the husband (ahem designer bag collection).
I worked hard to get where I am – I have always given 100% at whatever I do. Whether it’s been at school, during my 4 year university degree (OK, I could have worked harder and drank less there!) or in the jobs I’ve had since graduating, I give my all to what I’m doing and like to do a good job. I get a kick out of being successful in what I choose to do and I like a challenge so strive to work as hard as I can, wherever I am.
I want to be able to provide the best I can for my children – I don’t want my children to be remotely spoilt by any stretch of the imagination but I do want to be able to treat them when I want. I would like to get to a stage where, although you are always conscious of money and being careful with it, it isn’t a worry and you’re not constantly watching the pennies. I’d like to send my children to private school so they can have the same upbringing as me. And I would like them to be able to see the world, with lots of family holidays, like I was lucky enough have growing up. There’s also the small case of being able to afford a dream house as well. Aim high and all that jazz!
I want to be a role model for my daughter – Before anyone gets defensive and says ‘staying at home to be a good mother is a good enough role model’, I’m not saying that it’s not. I just want to show her that she can do whatever she wants as long as she sets her mind to it and works hard for it, whether that be an amazing SAHM or a career woman or both, it’s up to her.
I have the utmost respect for all the mummies out there that are stay at home mums. It is hands down the hardest job out there that I know of!! I loved every minute of my maternity leave but my goodness some days were incredibly tough and relentless. It’s a 24/7 job with no holidays, no overtime, technically no ‘progression’ and all sorts of health and safety hazards (hello poo explosions and balancing a child whilst trying to do 100 jobs one handed). But the rewards are priceless. To be there for every ‘first’ and to see your child grow day in and day out is worth its weight in gold. I am genuinely gutted that I may not be there for Isla’s real first steps and first word, but hey, all nursery kids do their firsts in the evening or at the weekend huh?!
What are your experiences with going back to work or staying at home?
SHARE:

You Might Also Like

Travelling With a Baby – Flying

BabyBjörn Carrier We Launch Event

Mummy Monday: Dad Q&A on Labour and Birth!

4 Months (16 Weeks) Old – Baby Update


16 comments so far.

Welcome

Welcome

A twenty-something, full time working, mum of two, with a love for all things cat, cacti and scandi related.

“BiBs
BritMums

YOUTUBE

Archives

SEARCH

Categories

NETWORKS

TOTS100 - UK Parent Blogs
TOTS100

ASSOCIATIONS

SnuzMomma _Blogger stamp medela-mum-badge-2016-2
  • ABOUT
  • DISCLAIMER
  • Categories
    • Pregnancy
    • Parenting
    • Reviews
    • Weekend Tot Style
  • WORK WITH US
  • SHOP

Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫 Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫
‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in c ‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in creating a better world for our children.’ - Nelson Mandela ❤️
It’s not enough though, is it? We’ve always h It’s not enough though, is it?

We’ve always had diverse toys in our house (not enough, but I’m working on it ❤️), but when questioned ‘why do you buy your kids Black dolls?’, I’ve faltered and answered incorrectly. I would respond saying ‘because that’s the doll Isla liked the best. What does it matter? We’re all human’, rather than questioning why that person is questioning it in the first place.

In a massive learning curve this week, where I am actively trying to become an anti-racist ally, not just anti-racist/non racist in general, I have found so many shortcomings in my effort to educate my kids and in my own attitudes towards race. But this isn’t about me. So here are some resources I’d like to share on top of the ones shared in my stories.

Some books to read:
Me and White Supremacy - Layla F. Saad.
Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge.
How to argue with a racist - Adam Rutherford.
Brit(ish) - Afua Hirsch.
White Fragility - Robin Diangelo.
I Am Not Your Baby Mother - Candice Brathwaite.
So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo.

Diverse kids books:
Anti Racist Baby - X. Kendi.
Riley Can Be Anything -Davina Hamilton.
Look Up - Nathan Bryon.
Mae Among The Stars - Roda Ahmed.
The Mega Magic Hair Swap - Rochelle Humes.
Let’s Talk About Race - Julius Lester.
Welcome To Our World - Moira Butterfield and Harriet Lynas.
This Book Is Antiracist - Tiffany Jewell.
The Extraordinary Gardener - Sam Boughton.
Let The Children March - Monica Clark-Robinson.
Ruby’s Worry - Tom Percival.
A Kids Book About Racism - Jelani Memory.

Some things to watch:
When They See Us.
13th.
Who Killed Malcom X.
Time: The Kalief Browder Story.
Explained: The Racial Wealth Gap.
Dear White People.
I am Not Your Negro.

My to do list:
- Sign more petitions.
- Donate to more causes.
- Listen to podcasts and share.
- Encourage changes in the school curriculum so that my children, and their classmates, get a better, much more rounded and diverse education.
- Call things out.
- Have honest/open conversations.
- Share content.
- To keep educating myself, whilst never expecting others to do it for me.

It’s just a starting point.

Thanks for listening x
Black Lives Matter. I can never pretend to unders Black Lives Matter.

I can never pretend to understand, but I will always stand.

I’ve been on a huge learning curve this week and have, shamefully, come to the realisation, which I should have a long time ago, that it’s not enough to just not be racist. We must also be actively anti-racist and do everything in our power to ensure our children are too.

Today is a day to stop, listen, support, educate ourselves, donate, sign petitions, take action in any way we can, big and small, to make sure that everyone knows we stand with our fellow humans, family and friends. But we can’t just do this today. We must do it each and every day going forward ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻
And breathe! First day without both my babies for And breathe! First day without both my babies for the first time in 10 weeks today and it couldn’t have gone better. Both had wonderful days and were full of stories when they got home. I said over on stories last night, which got an incredible response so thank you to everyone who reached out, that I am completely comfortable with my choice to send the kids back to school and nursery but would never, ever judge anyone who felt different. We are all in different boats in this storm we’ve found ourselves in and what works for my family, might not work for yours. I have deliberately stayed out of the ‘are you sending your kids back or not?’ debate as it started to feel like another toxic discussion, in the media and on social media, that was resulting in yet another parenting divide.
I could have had the kids in this whole time, under key worker provision, but tried my best to hang on till the phased reopenings that I hoped would happen when they did. They were what I was aiming towards. Don’t get me wrong, I have LOVED having the kids at home together for such a sustained period, we have made lots of memories and learnt so much more about each other, but mixed in with the nature of my job and the fact that @thisdadalife is deployed and so I’m on my own with minimal support, I couldn’t have gone on much longer.
When I got in from dropping them off today, and as I went upstairs to work at my desk, I literally collapsed on the stairs and almost cried in relief. Relief that we made it through, as dramatic as that sounds. I don’t think I realised the toll it was taking mentally as I was constantly running on adrenaline.
I am so happy to get a bit more balance back and to, most importantly, feel like a better mum again. Not a snappy trying to juggle it all 24/7 with no break mum.
If you sent your kids back today, whether you wanted to or not, I’m with you and support you.
If you have kept them home in your bubble for longer, I’m with you and support you.
If you’re still unsure what to do and are undecided, I am with you and support you.
Nobody knows the full extent of someone else’s circumstances and we have to stop and realise that before we judge anyone else ❤️
Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅 Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅
This is the first year in YEARS that I have felt ok wearing a bikini. And I feel like it’s more down to how strong I feel, rather than how I look. Whatever it is, I hope it continues ❤️
On another note, how tanned does the @filterbymollymae fake tan make you look! 🙌🏻
(Both bikini and cover up are from last year).
#losingmyboobstho #youwinsomeyoulosesomehaha
Load More... Follow
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. New posts will not be retrieved.

There may be an issue with the Instagram access token that you are using. Your server might also be unable to connect to Instagram at this time.

COPYRIGHT @THISMAMALIFE | Blog Design by KotrynaBassDesign