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A UK Pregnancy, Parenting and Lifestyle Blog
October 6, 2017

You Turned One!

Dear L,

My baby boy. My first boy. My handsome little taco! You are now a whole one year old. How, and when, and why did this happen?! I still vividly remember the day I had to go into hospital to get induced with you and how scared I was about everything. Your sister had rocked up early and had taken us by surprise, where as you were in no rush whatsoever and were completely oblivious to all the stress surrounding the birth, timings and the fact your dada was away on deployment at the time.

I’ll never forget the moment I first held you in the birthing pool and I was so lucky that our lovely friend Emma captured every single bit of emotion going through me in a stunning photo, which I will treasure forever. I held you for a good minute or so before I even realised you were a BOY! We didn’t find out your gender, as we wanted it to be a surprise, and I felt like the luckiest mama in the world when I realised I now had not only a beautiful daughter, but a beautiful son as well.

You lulled us into a fall sense of security by sleeping 24/7 for the first week, but I always said you would be trouble. I sensed it even when you were still just a bump and you haven’t proved me wrong!

You have pushed me to my absolute limits, and have made me summon up a strength I didn’t even know I had, but you are worth every single fear, stress, frustration and tear. I would do it again a thousand times just to see one of your ridiculous toothy grins, feel one of your intense cuddles (complete with headbutt) or to watch you crawl at a speed of light across a room just to lie down on the floor and put your head on someone’s foot (??).

You are incredibly head strong (just like your sister) but you are a lot more cuddly and needy than she was/is. It is fascinating to see the similarities in your personalities but also your differences. You will be running rings around her soon, I’m sure. She is so proud to have a little brother and loves showing you off at every opportunity – ‘MY LACKILIN’.

Every parent questions whether they have enough room in their heart and love to share with more than one child but it really is true that your heart just grows in size to accommodate all the additional love. You don’t have to split your love. It grows naturally.

So happy birthday my crazy little coconut. You are certainly one of a kind and we look forward to each and every day of watching you grow. I have a feeling nothing will stand in your way…

Love you more than you could ever imagine,

Mama aka ‘mememememe’ (I’ve been trying for months to get you to perfect ‘mama’ to no avail!) xx

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thismamalife

Working mum to 2 👦🏼👧🏼
Wanderer/Military Wife 🌍
💌 sarah@thismamalife.com
💻 thismamalife.com
📽 YT: thismamalife
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Find me here!👇🏻

Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫 Kisses and cuddles with my faves 💖💫
‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in c ‘Each of us as citizens, has a role to play in creating a better world for our children.’ - Nelson Mandela ❤️
It’s not enough though, is it? We’ve always h It’s not enough though, is it?

We’ve always had diverse toys in our house (not enough, but I’m working on it ❤️), but when questioned ‘why do you buy your kids Black dolls?’, I’ve faltered and answered incorrectly. I would respond saying ‘because that’s the doll Isla liked the best. What does it matter? We’re all human’, rather than questioning why that person is questioning it in the first place.

In a massive learning curve this week, where I am actively trying to become an anti-racist ally, not just anti-racist/non racist in general, I have found so many shortcomings in my effort to educate my kids and in my own attitudes towards race. But this isn’t about me. So here are some resources I’d like to share on top of the ones shared in my stories.

Some books to read:
Me and White Supremacy - Layla F. Saad.
Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge.
How to argue with a racist - Adam Rutherford.
Brit(ish) - Afua Hirsch.
White Fragility - Robin Diangelo.
I Am Not Your Baby Mother - Candice Brathwaite.
So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo.

Diverse kids books:
Anti Racist Baby - X. Kendi.
Riley Can Be Anything -Davina Hamilton.
Look Up - Nathan Bryon.
Mae Among The Stars - Roda Ahmed.
The Mega Magic Hair Swap - Rochelle Humes.
Let’s Talk About Race - Julius Lester.
Welcome To Our World - Moira Butterfield and Harriet Lynas.
This Book Is Antiracist - Tiffany Jewell.
The Extraordinary Gardener - Sam Boughton.
Let The Children March - Monica Clark-Robinson.
Ruby’s Worry - Tom Percival.
A Kids Book About Racism - Jelani Memory.

Some things to watch:
When They See Us.
13th.
Who Killed Malcom X.
Time: The Kalief Browder Story.
Explained: The Racial Wealth Gap.
Dear White People.
I am Not Your Negro.

My to do list:
- Sign more petitions.
- Donate to more causes.
- Listen to podcasts and share.
- Encourage changes in the school curriculum so that my children, and their classmates, get a better, much more rounded and diverse education.
- Call things out.
- Have honest/open conversations.
- Share content.
- To keep educating myself, whilst never expecting others to do it for me.

It’s just a starting point.

Thanks for listening x
Black Lives Matter. I can never pretend to unders Black Lives Matter.

I can never pretend to understand, but I will always stand.

I’ve been on a huge learning curve this week and have, shamefully, come to the realisation, which I should have a long time ago, that it’s not enough to just not be racist. We must also be actively anti-racist and do everything in our power to ensure our children are too.

Today is a day to stop, listen, support, educate ourselves, donate, sign petitions, take action in any way we can, big and small, to make sure that everyone knows we stand with our fellow humans, family and friends. But we can’t just do this today. We must do it each and every day going forward ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻
And breathe! First day without both my babies for And breathe! First day without both my babies for the first time in 10 weeks today and it couldn’t have gone better. Both had wonderful days and were full of stories when they got home. I said over on stories last night, which got an incredible response so thank you to everyone who reached out, that I am completely comfortable with my choice to send the kids back to school and nursery but would never, ever judge anyone who felt different. We are all in different boats in this storm we’ve found ourselves in and what works for my family, might not work for yours. I have deliberately stayed out of the ‘are you sending your kids back or not?’ debate as it started to feel like another toxic discussion, in the media and on social media, that was resulting in yet another parenting divide.
I could have had the kids in this whole time, under key worker provision, but tried my best to hang on till the phased reopenings that I hoped would happen when they did. They were what I was aiming towards. Don’t get me wrong, I have LOVED having the kids at home together for such a sustained period, we have made lots of memories and learnt so much more about each other, but mixed in with the nature of my job and the fact that @thisdadalife is deployed and so I’m on my own with minimal support, I couldn’t have gone on much longer.
When I got in from dropping them off today, and as I went upstairs to work at my desk, I literally collapsed on the stairs and almost cried in relief. Relief that we made it through, as dramatic as that sounds. I don’t think I realised the toll it was taking mentally as I was constantly running on adrenaline.
I am so happy to get a bit more balance back and to, most importantly, feel like a better mum again. Not a snappy trying to juggle it all 24/7 with no break mum.
If you sent your kids back today, whether you wanted to or not, I’m with you and support you.
If you have kept them home in your bubble for longer, I’m with you and support you.
If you’re still unsure what to do and are undecided, I am with you and support you.
Nobody knows the full extent of someone else’s circumstances and we have to stop and realise that before we judge anyone else ❤️
Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅 Ibiza vibes in Puerto Gardeno today 😂☀️😅
This is the first year in YEARS that I have felt ok wearing a bikini. And I feel like it’s more down to how strong I feel, rather than how I look. Whatever it is, I hope it continues ❤️
On another note, how tanned does the @filterbymollymae fake tan make you look! 🙌🏻
(Both bikini and cover up are from last year).
#losingmyboobstho #youwinsomeyoulosesomehaha
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